I’ve seen him off and on my whole life until recently. I’ve suffered from sleep paralysis since as far back as I can remember. I’ve always had extreme anxiety about the dark and going to sleep. This probably caused sleep deprivation at times. I slept with my mother until I was 15 years old because of this. I didn’t have the best home life growing up. We were poor, my mom was sick, and my dad abused drugs pretty badly. So I saw a lot of things I shouldn’t have which probably led to some unresolved trauma. I was a very quiet and anxious child too.
The first episode of sleep paralysis that I can remember was when I was 4-5 years old. I remember being dragged by my feet by a character that looked like the black spy vs spy bird with the black hat. In hindsight, I believe it was him. I would have horrible sleep paralysis episodes seeing him from doorways or near my bed for years. I always remember being very scared but not necessarily of him. This happened for a while and then for a few of my teen years when life got normal for a while, he went away. Fast forward to my 16th birthday where I stupidly played with an Ouija board with some girls. I began to see him again. He never scared me and at times I felt like he was my protector. I had dated my high school sweetheart since we were 15 and at 20 we married. My husband and I moved into a condo and at 21 I was still a virgin. (I suffered from Vaginismus, which is a whole other story.) This is relevant because shortly after I lost my virginity, I had a terrifying experience.
I was babysitting my toddler nephew and we were cuddled asleep on my couch with our backs facing the open living room and kitchen/dining area. I started having a sleep paralysis episode and I could hear something stomping quickly and angrily through my small condo. It sounded like my cabinets were being slammed open and shut like kitchen drawers were being pulled out and the contents thrown around. This went on for several minutes while I prayed a banishment in God’s name. Everything got very quiet. Then I felt a high raising presence at my back. I felt the entity bend down and its breath was hot on my ear. I will never forget the guttural voice speaking to me in a language I did not know. I continued to furiously pray and finally pulled myself out of the episode. I grabbed the toddler and my keys and left the house in tears. My kitchen was never disturbed. I can’t explain how I know it was him, but I think he was mad at me for losing my virginity. I saw him one other time around this incident at my condo, but I can’t remember if it was before or after. He was standing beside my bed very close and reaching out to me with one hand. I was paralyzed in a sleep paralysis episode but I did not feel scared and I don’t know what he wanted. I slept with a bible after that and prayed often. I haven’t seen him since.
I’m 28 now, with three daughters of my own. My middle daughter is three and looks just like me. She often wakes up from sleep with a night terror and refuses to sleep alone. She doesn’t talk well yet but when she points to the doorway or stairs and says ‘monster’ I can’t help but think she sees him too.I think he wants children. I think my maturing sexually put me out of his reach in some way if that makes any sense.